Not "you," but "to me" and "for me." The syntax is the big issue with your thesis. The essay is about you, so the language must represent that.
Wale's quote reminds me that when I doubt myself, confidence from somebody else empowers me.
When do you most doubt yourself? Who has most of the time been there to empower you? These are ideas that you can add to the introduction paragraph, or attempt to connect to them to the edited thesis above. The essay is about how you put the idea you get from the quote into practice in your life.
Logically, your opening paragraph should talk about confidence and moments of doubt. What, in your life, has made you doubt yourself the most? What has taken power away from you? Where in your life do you struggle the most? These are the types of questions that you set up the quote with and then explore in the body using that thesis.
Not "you," but "to me" and "for me." The syntax is the big issue with your thesis. The essay is about you, so the language must represent that.
ReplyDeleteWale's quote reminds me that when I doubt myself, confidence from somebody else empowers me.
When do you most doubt yourself? Who has most of the time been there to empower you? These are ideas that you can add to the introduction paragraph, or attempt to connect to them to the edited thesis above. The essay is about how you put the idea you get from the quote into practice in your life.
Logically, your opening paragraph should talk about confidence and moments of doubt. What, in your life, has made you doubt yourself the most? What has taken power away from you? Where in your life do you struggle the most? These are the types of questions that you set up the quote with and then explore in the body using that thesis.